ticketid: 244472 owner: group: noc.sched subject: ralph needs a vacation priority: 1 opendate: 13NOV97 22:52 editdate: 13NOV97 22:52 closedate: status: open =============================================================================== MAIL date: 13NOV97 22:52 owner: daemon (Daemon) 996671 From nc0102@spike Thu Nov 13 22:52:09 1997 Return-Path: Received: from spike. by noc.netcom.net (8.6.12/SMI-4.1) id WAA21160; Thu, 13 Nov 1997 22:52:09 -0800 Received: by spike. (SMI-8.6/SMI-SVR4) id WAA13586; Thu, 13 Nov 1997 22:50:29 -0800 Message-Id: <199711140650.WAA13586@spike.> Subject: ralph needs a vacation To: ops@noc.netcom.net Date: Thu, 13 Nov 1997 22:50:29 -0800 (PST) In-Reply-To: from "Chris Layne" at Nov 10, 97 07:22:59 pm From: Ralph Pearson X-Mailer: ELM [version 2.4 PL23] MIME-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: text/plain; charset=US-ASCII Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit > > Apparently Sprint experienced an outage in null space. See, everyone is ahead of > Netcom. > > == Chris Layne ==================================== Network Administrator == > == clayne@noc.netcom.net ====================== NETCOM Network Operations == > > ---------- Forwarded message ---------- > Date: Mon, 10 Nov 1997 18:45:30 -0500 (EST) > From: postout@sprint.net > To: outage@sprint.net > > OUTAGE MESSAGE > > Mon Nov 10 18:45:29 EST 1997 > > Greetings, > > At approximately on , we experienced a in . As a result, . We are working to fix the problem at this time. Currently, the estimated time to repair is unknown. We will keep you updated on this issue as we get new information. Please bear with us as > we work to fix the problem. > -Sprintlink NOC > > We need to escalate this. I'm sick and tired of seeing NETCOM a day late and a dollar short on all the new fangled Internet shit. I want the Internet community to know that at NETCOM, the null will *always* be there because we have the superior high-tech fault-tolerant load-balanced null. Effective immediately, I want all available resources dedicated to maximizing null space in every possible capacity. McNamee's folks will start linking all directories on all systems to /dev/null. Meanwhile, Newton will point all the routes in our network to some loopback somewhere (probably on someone else's network since all our interfaces' configs will be wiped). Kevin messenger will forward all incoming calls to Nynex (800-IAM-DEAD). Neal Bahu can get a Field Service posse together to go to every POP and make sure that all the powercyclers are plugged into themselves. I'll get Brian Tickler to take the ticketing system and...no, on second thought, I'll leave the ticketing system just like it is. I'm going to need everyone's help on this. Everything must go. ROT-13 the POPfiles. Email filters that block email. Packet filters that block IP. Powercycle everything. Chairs through all the windows. motd="buh-bye" Our new logo: ___________ / rm -rf * / ---------- An ix user once said "there is no null"...well, I beg to differ: enter NETCOM! ........................................................................... Ralph Warren Pearson Void, Network Operations nc0102@netcom.com NETCOM Online Communication Services, Inc. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TICKET #244472