From nc0691@noc.netcom.net Thu Nov 18 11:02:47 1999 Date: Wed, 17 Nov 1999 14:20:49 -0800 (PST) From: Jason Newquist To: change@noc.netcom.net, nc0691@noc.netcom.net, network-admins@noc.netcom.net Subject: NOCR - Eliminate Planet Newquist [NETCOMticket#164023] ORIGINATOR: Jason Newquist SUBJECT: Hwaet! Another warrior has fallen! OUR TICKET: 164023 (noc.incoming) OTHER TIX: 167223 (noc.hot) 244472 (noc.sched) SUMMARY: Using a "laser", we will cause the moon to act like a "death star", thereby altering the trajectory of Planet Newquist, sending it into "deep space"... unless you pay me one million dollars! PURPOSE: Avoid barnacledom. IMPACT: Those interested in old NOC stories must use email, rather than walk the hall. SCHEDULE: Start: Wed Nov 17, 1999, 08:00 AM PST Finish: Wed Nov 17, 1999, 17:00 PM PST Duration: 08 hrs 00 mins RESOURCES: Laser. Vast throngs of minions. Evan Kasakove's hair. A part from Vic's pod. The motivator. The day Wintermute died. The Woz's dbfile. Evidence of the AT&T attack ninjas. Blood of backhoe operator. A page from one of Mojica's Cisco manuals. Printout of the old NOC Wish List. A lucite cube. A three-legged stool. Bob Reiger's fez. A part from the Amulet of Connectivity. One of Glenny's comics. A key from the Indy's keyboard. A line of Ryan Kubica's tsuper code. Something stolen from the Greap POP Heist. The ampersand. One (live) lobster from Don Dawson. A container from the Couryard Cafe autographed by Maggie and Michael. Snoochie boochies from Jay, Matt, and Silent Riz. An email from Vijay saying, "I'll take a look at it." A bit of velcro from Lieberhosen. The lunch I owe Grizzard. A Buh Module. A 23.com booster rocket engine. A question asked at a company-wide meeting about the future of the shell machines. A piece of melted limburger cheese in a conference room trash can. Cluegiver. nims. corkscrew. A commercial featuring clayne and the red Mazda. A picture from the day in November of 1995 in which I drove down from Davis and interviewed with Adelson and Clemens. The Butthole Surfers CD Ralph liked to play on graveyard shift. The name "hotlog." A JPEG designed by Joe Conti. Louie's NC number. Gideon and I shouting porbes between the elevators. Rowena's black belt. Shiva's destruction. Jauch's way of saying, "Oh yeah, baby." The fortitude of Kael. Godzilla music. The one grave shift I shared with Ralph and Newton, and feeling my head ache from the education. The Netcruiser van. Charlie Greer's various spreadsheets. A joke Peggy once told after a couple beers. The NOC move from the ground floor to the first floor. The day the lights went out at Tisch. The two consecutive Bistro events I missed. Coffee with clayne in the morning. hostmistress@noc. Getting stuck "on phones" for a shift. Swing with Waters and Muller. Paging Fritsche about OSPF "routing storms" three nights in a row. The Big Kahuna. Upgrading to LXes. Having Gideon, on vacation in Vegas, head down to lvx-nv to power cycle gw1. hoodr giving Ralph commands to type into sjx-ca-gw1 because he can't type at the moment. The day we got shift differential. NYNEX calling the batphone to test a circuit while I have it with me in the bathroom on my second solo grave shift. Writing a 5-page self-eval, then realizing, sometime later, that it was overkill. Lunch breaks on swing shift at Mr. Chou's. Leftover meeting food. The day OTIS was canned. Falafel! FALLBACK: None. Bye!